Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Valentine Anniversary

It just takes one day, one moment, to change the course of your life.  

Valentine's Day will no longer be just a day for romance, Hallmark cards, flowers and boxes of chocolate.  

It will always be a reminder.  

An anniversary.  

A pinnacle moment.

When life changed. 

When my world's axis shifted, causing a ripple effect in every crack and crevice of my being.  

The phone call.

The doctor needs you to come in right away.  

Sitting in his office.  My three year old with Valentine chocolate smudged on her face.  The baby crying, wanting to nurse.  

There are lesions on your spine.


I want to admit you tonight.  We have to do more tests.  

Heart racing.  

It could be anything - anything from an infection to cancer. 

Fear.  Paralyzing fear.  

You are sick.  

Can't breathe.

We packed our bags, headed to the hospital.  My husband propped up our Valentine cards next to my hospital bed.  The nurses rushed in and out, wearing red and pink scrubs covered with hearts and flying cupids.  They tried to hide their glassy eyes as they read my chart and saw the teddy bar leaned up against my breast pump. What did they know?  What did it say?   

My baby needs me.

It was surreal then.

Vivid now.  

February 14th changed the course of my life.  Fear, pain and sickness birthed fire, resilience, passion.  

And today - today I celebrate.  



New beginnings.  


But I don't forget

what brought me here

what guided me through.  

Today, I'm taking back Valentine's Day.  

Writing a new chapter.  

Believing for a different ending.  

Celebrating every breath of life.  





What does this day mean to you?  

Love and Gratitude, 


  1. I remember being so worried about you guys. I am so grateful to God for his blessings and mercy. Now a year later, all I can say is, CHEEEEE HOOOOO!!!

    Jed's (and your) Friend

  2. Yes, I too remember you all being there - so far away yet so much love and support. Thank you for prayers and encouragement this year. Hope to see you guys soon.

  3. What a glorious, victorious post.