Five Minute Friday - Remember

Last Friday was liberating.  To write without looking back, editing, second guessing.  To let my fingers dance across the keyboard, without judgment, without restriction...at least for five sweet minutes.

In Gypsy Mama's words, Five Minute Friday is "for fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication."


And today, she asks us to give our best five minutes on...


REMEMBER


Ready?  Go.  


Stories of old Hawai`i.   
Of simpler days.  
Of calloused fingers and sun-blistered skin from a long day on the plantation. 
Children playing on dirt roads, bare feet, brown skin.  


She was the youngest of five.  
Korean and proud.  
Her hands, strong.  
Mind, stronger.  


She told us stories of old Hawai`i.  
Of picking mangos and pounding poi.  
Of war and loss.
Family taking care of family. 


I wish I would have listened better, taken notes, asked questions.  I wish I didn't get tired of hearing the same stories over and over again.  Of family I never met.  Of a Hawai`i I never knew.  There were so many lessons to be learned.  So much wisdom to be gleaned.  


But now.
Now she doesn't know:
My name.  
His face.
The stories.


She's quiet.


What is like to not remember?  


STOP.  

From Awareness to Prevention

October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Pink ribbons were everywhere.  You couldn't go to a store without being reminded to "think pink".  Grocery stores lined their aisles with pink tags, indicating a portion of the sale would go toward breast cancer research.  Retail stores stocked the latest pink clothing lines and accessories.  Professional athletes and coaches supported the cause by wearing pink shoes, pink socks, pink ribbons.

As far as awareness goes, I think it's almost impossible to not be aware of breast cancer.  Or is it?  What does that pink ribbon signify?  What does it make you think?  And more importantly, how does it make you respond?  Simply buying a pink item is not enough.  While I do encourage us all to support such efforts monetarily, however big or small, we cannot stop there.  There needs to be action.  We need to take ownership of our health, our bodies and our lives.

I think we can all agree that early detection greatly increases one's chance of survival. Whether it's a mammogram, monthly self-checks, a pap smear or a colonoscopy, screening tests such as these can help detect disease in it's early stages so that you can proceed to treatment and ultimately to complete health.  I had my first mammogram in February after an abnormal MRI showed lesions on my spine.  The radiologists and oncologists considered breast cancer.  I didn't know that over 25% of patients with Stage 4 breast cancer experience metastases to the bone, most often the spine.  My mammogram ended up showing a mass in my breast and spots on my lymph nodes.  I was immediately sent for follow up ultrasounds and two biopsies.  Thankfully, both biopsies came back benign.  Ladies, can we talk about mammograms for a second?  Let me tell you - I walked out that test and couldn't believe that was it.  It was quick (under 5 minutes), painless (a little pushing and squeezing, but definitely not painful - and I was breastfeeding a 5 month old so if there was ever a time to be ultra-sensitive it would have been then).   Don't be afraid.  If you are over 40 years old, make an appointment and get it done.  If you are younger than 40 but have a history of breast cancer in your family, talk to your doctor, be sure you're doing monthly self-examinations and follow up with any concerns.

Okay, that being said, I want to talk about something that is near to my heart.  While early detection may increase our chances of survival, how much more will prevention increase our ability to live. Ultimately, the goal is to not have anything to detect.  Although we can't control everything, there is a whole lot we can do keep our bodies healthy, vibrant and free of dis-ease. And yes, I say this as one who lives with chronic disease and the pain that comes with it.  It's not a contradiction.  I am a wellness warrior on a quest for optimum health.  I cannot and will not accept the idea that my condition has no cure.  I focus instead on becoming whole, bringing my body, mind and spirit to a place of healing.

So my friends, I'm going to assume that you will take action and schedule your annual exams whatever they may be, but that's the easy part.  It's what you do the other 364 days of the year that I'm talking about.  Every morning that we wake up we have new choices to make:  what will we eat? what will we drink? what kind of people will we surround ourselves with? what kind of toxic crap will we allow? are we educating ourselves?  how do we treat our bodies? our minds? our spirits?

Hey, hey, no eye rolling.  If you think eating well and living healthy cost too much or takes too much time, you obviously haven't spent much time in the hospital.  Let me tell you, being sick is way more expensive than staying well.  Having a disease is way more time consuming than preparing a healthy meal, going to the gym or taking time to pray or meditate.

We'll take time this month (during NaBloPoMo) to talk about health and prevention.  There are so many bits of goodness we can get in to.  Oh, and I'd love to hear from you, too. Leave a comment and tell me what you do to live your best life.  Or better yet, let me know what you'd like to change or improve.  There is no shame here - we all need encouragement and support.  Together, let's choose to take back our health.  You deserve it!  Our families deserve it!



Let's do this!
Kim

Green Juice 101

People often ask me what's the difference between juicing and blending (green juice vs. green smoothies).  In my humble, laywoman's opinion, the difference can be explained in one sentence:  Juicing removes pulp (fiber) and smoothies leave it in.  Recently, I've been juicing and blending about the same amount - usually juicing at breakfast and blending for a quick power meal or snack. Here's a more detailed breakdown on the two:

Juicing:  

• Quick Nutrition:  Because juicing removes the plant's fiber, your digestive system gets a break and the nutrients from your juice go almost immediately to your bloodstream.  
• Instant Energy:  Gulping down a glass of green juice has an immediate effect. Forget coffee!  This is serious revitalization!  
• Too Many Greens:  Are you having a hard time eating the recommended daily amount of fruits and veggies?  No fear, juicing (and blending) will help with that.  I drink a colander full of greens before I leave the house in the morning.  It would take me all day to eat all of that.  

Blending:  

• Bring on the Fiber:  Unlike juicing, blending allows you to retain all the fiber - which sweeps up your digestive system and keeps you regular.  
• Meal in a Glass:  I've come to L.O.V.E. a green smoothie for lunch or a power snack.  They are both energizing and filling at the same time. There are no rules, but I try to stick with a 3:1 (veggie to fruit) ratio.  
• Kale, spinach or romaine lettuce
• Avocado or plain greek yogurt for protein and fat
• Frozen berries, berries, pear or apple
• Plain water, coconut water, almond milk or splash of apple juice 
• You can even add ground flax, chia or hemp seeds.  
• Crushed ice

My basic green juice consists of kale, romaine lettuce, cucumber, celery and a pear.  I change this up depending on what's in the fridge.  

There's very little prep.  Once all the veggies are washed, I just chop the cucumber and pear in half so it'll fit in the juicer.  Everything else can be torn by hand.  So easy!

I always line the "catcher" (the container on the juicer that collects all the pulp) with a gallon size ziploc bag.  I freeze the pulp (which is loaded with amazing fiber) and use it later to make vegetable broth.  I've also thrown it in soups, breads and other dishes.   Another bonus is it makes clean up a bit easier.

When juicing, I usually do leafy greens first and then follow it with something juicy (cucumber, pear, celery, etc).

This is some serious gold right here.

Bag o' fiber.  You don't want to dump this stuff.  Try it as "fillers" in other recipes: soups, stews, breads, or even a green smoothie.

Yummy goodness.  Okay, let's be honest.  You may not love your first few glasses of green but let me tell you something.  The more you eat and drink clean and green, the more your body will crave it and begin to sincerely enjoy the taste.  Other tips, squeeze some lime and stir before drinking or throw your greens into the freezer for a few minutes before juicing so it's cold when you drink.  Sometimes temperature alone can work wonders.  

Cheers!!

Kim 

NaBloPoMo - aka: I'm gettin' my bloggin' on

So.... I've decided to join in on NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month.  Basically, I'll be writing every day for the month of November.  Yup, all 30 days, rain or shine, sleep or no sleep, kids screaming or napping - I'll be here.  Normally I don't like the pressure and commitment to things like this. I've got enough going on.  But then I realized that sometimes, even when life is at it's craziest, we could use a little push, a little motivation - to become better.  So here I am, subjecting encouraging myself to sit and write.  I hope you'll join me.

Happy November!  

Kim 

Five Minute Friday - Relevant

I'm joining up with Lisa-Jo (aka the GypsyMama) for Five Minute Friday.  It's a time for bloggers to stop, drop and write.  No editing.  No overthinking.  No second guessing.  So that's what I'm going to do:  write, gush, pour it all out onto my keyboard and hope that after I push "publish" it'll all make sense.  Her topic this week is:

RELEVANT 

Ready...

Set...

Go!

Is. It. Relevant?  These are three words I heard over and over again as I sat next to a judge as a law clerk and across from a judge as an attorney.  The Federal Rules of Evidence defines "relevant evidence" as evidence that has the tendency to make the existence of a fact more probable or less probable than it would be without the evidence (sure, there's more to it but I only have 5 minutes :).  Basically, this just means that whatever you're putting in front of a judge or jury needs to have a point.  It needs to back your claim.  It needs to support your case (or disprove theirs).

The funny thing about relevance is that it's all quite, well... relative.  It depends on what you're trying to prove, what case you're trying to make, what facts you're trying to establish.

So it is in life.  In order to know what's relevant, we need to ask some important questions.  What are we trying to say?  What kind of life do we want to lead?  What point are we trying to make? What legacy do we want to leave?  Once we can answer these questions, our case becomes much clearer.  We can distinguish what's relevant and what's not.  We can prioritize.  We can say no. We can say yes. We can avoid confusion.  We can walk in confidence.  We can fulfill our purpose.  We can focus on what matters because quite frankly, the rest will be irrelevant.

STOP.

Wow, that went by way too quick.  I desperately want to re-read and edit but in the spirit of Five Minute Friday, I will click "Publish Post".  *cringe*

Happy Friday!
Kim 

Life in Numbers

Just for fun...

2 - amazing daughters
6 - months as a vegetarian
9 - years I've been married
10 - movies in my Netflix queue.
13 - the amount of books stacked up next to the side of my bed
20 - years I spent in school
22 - shots I've given myself in the thigh
25 - my last ESR (inflammation level).  That's a "high normal"!
45 - minutes I spend everyday on PT exercises
54 - the age I'll be when I pay off my student loans (Ya, I consolidated and opted for smaller payments.  Sounded like a good idea at the time.  I need to strike it rich.)
69 - the number of posts I have written since April 15th
10,500 +  Page views this blog has received (it still amazes me that people read this!  Thank you...)

If you want to add to my numbers, click on the blue Google "Join This Site" tab on the top left and follow along.  The more the merrier!

Thanks for reading...
Kim 

The Road to Wisdom

I don't get it.  

I don't get how some mornings I wake up just a bit achy and can manage a normal routine, while other days the pain radiates all over making the simplest tasks a lot more challenging.  

I don't know why my neck won't move today.  It was fine yesterday. 

I don't know why my arm keeps tingling, going numb, feeling hot then cold.  

The most frustrating part is not being able to communicate - with myself.  I mean, you'd think after 36 years we'd understand each other.  

My one-year old has a few words under her belt.  Otherwise she communicates with grunts, groans, facial expressions and hand gestures.  I pride myself on being a fairly in-tuned translator and can almost always figure out what she's trying to "say".  When I take too long and can't figure out that she wants the purple and green puppy on the top shelf of sister's closet, she lets out a fierce pterodactyl-like scream (note:  I had no idea that's how you spell pterodactyl.  Crazy.) Anyway, I try to be patient because I understand her frustration.  Oh, to have something to say, but no words to say it.  

I feel like my body is screeching at me, in that all too familiar pterodactyl scream, and I'm just not figuring it out.  It's like a cruel game of charades.  It flails it's arm and legs, looking at me like, "hey, you should know this one!" and there I am guessing:

Did I overdo it?  Too much laundry?  Too much walking?  Too much pumpkin-patching?  

Did I not do enough?  Exercise?  Stretching? Yoga? 

Is it what I'm eating?  Sugar? Gluten? Dairy? All of the above?  

Stress?  Sleep?  Allergies? Vitamins?  

I don't know.  

I can't figure it out.

But here is what I do know.  

I have found purpose through pain, strength through weakness.   I say this sincerely as I type with one numb hand, as I sit on my exercise ball because a regular chair hurts my hips.  

Yesterday, our pastor said something that has been echoing in my mind the last 24 hours.  Here's the gist of it:

Sometimes the things that are the hardest, most challenging, 

end up being the very thing you're designed to do.  

Suffering is a road to wisdom.  

Suffering is part of the process to bring wisdom.  

Now let me pause for a second.  I don't want to get into a theological debate on sickness, suffering and healing.  I simply want to share that this last year, a year filled with pain, fear, and unanswered questions, has given me new purpose.  It has broken my heart, only to make it more tender.  It has renewed my mind, only to make me think clearer.  It has shattered my faith, only to refine it.  It has made me weak, only so I could  experience grace.  

So maybe I don't get it, but I know enough.  And in the meantime, I will continue to look for answers.  I will continue to choose health. I will continue to manage my pain with a goal of complete remission.  But more importantly, I will continue on this road, because I do believe that on this road there is wisdom.   And if that's the case, I don't want to take any shortcuts.  

Kim 

Perspective

I just got back from a weekend getaway with a bunch of girlfriends.  It was fabulous on so many levels.
I've been a stay-at-home mom for almost 2 years now.  I really don't love the word "stay-at-home" mom. For one, it just sounds kind of boring (and being a SAHM is anything but boring).  Anyway, the point is I'm with my girls pretty much 24/7, which I LOVE and would not trade for anything in the whole wide world (except for maybe a top of the line Vita Mix blender, weekly massages and a car with automatic locks - just kidding, kind of).  But yes, I was looking forward to 48 hours of grown-up time and only shed a few (dozen) tears as I drove away.

It was a much needed time for me. At first I thought I just needed a break.  You know, sleep in, eat out, catch up on a year's worth of mindless magazines, laugh til my cheeks hurt, that kind of stuff.  And while I absolutely did all of that (except for the mindless magazines) the getaway ended up being so much more.

One night, sometime between red wine and a short-lived game of charades, I looked at each of the 6 women I was with and realized I didn't know any of them 2 years ago.  We didn't even live in the same state.  And there I was, sharing heartfelt stories about my past and present - joys and struggles, with women who so quickly went from strangers to friends.  For that, I am so thankful.

A bunch of us decided to go for a hike on Saturday.  It was 2 miles of straight incline (which then results in 2 miles of straight decline), but there's something about nature that just keeps you going - looking and moving forward.  Something about breathtaking beauty that inspires you to go the distance. The hike was definitely a challenge for me.  My hips and back hurt but I made it to the top, and boy does getting to "the top" mean more to me today than it ever did before.  I'm learning when it's okay to push myself and when I need to sit something out.  There are days when that decision is made for me, when my body goes on strike and doesn't give me the option.  But more often than not, I can choose how far to go and I don't ever take that decision for granted.

As we got closer to the top of the summit one word came to mind:  perspective.  Seriously, if perspective could be bought and sold the world would be a different place.  The ability to step back, see the big picture, sift through what matters and what doesn't, take a breath, clear your head, quiet the noise - it's a powerful thing.  I love how your circumstances can remain exactly the same but a simple shift in your thinking can change everything. I think I came down from that mountain a more patient mother, a more loving wife, an overall stronger woman.

I know we can't always escape for the weekend, but I've been reminded how important it is to step back.  Take an hour, go for a walk, drive to the ocean, sit near a stream, go somewhere and let the quiet re-calibrate you.  Perspective:  it changes everything.


Here's to more mountaintop moments,
Kim   

Peas and Thank You

Cookbooks are my weakness.  I didn't realize it until I looked at the pile of books next to the side of my bed and half of them are, you guessed it, cookbooks.  I read them like novels.  Whenever I take my girls to the bookstore we take a quick detour so I can grab a handful of cookbooks - in the event they are both occupied and mom can steal a minute to peruse the latest must-try dish.   I don't want you to get the wrong idea.  I don't cook every night.  I'm no Giada.  I often find myself at 4:00 p.m. saying, "ugh, what should I make for dinner?."  Still, there is something about a good cookbook. They get me every time.  My youngest sister bought me not one, but two, for my birthday (Thanks, Lin).

A couple weeks ago I was rushing through Costco.  Of course, I had to speed through the book section just to see if there was anything I had to have.  Well, sure enough one book caught my eye.  The title and cover did it for me.  I didn't have time to skim so into the cart it went.  Lucky for me, both girls decided to nap at the same time that day so I had a few minutes of peace and quiet.  Holy moly!  Let me just tell you - I adore this book and adore Sarah, the author.  In fact, I sort of feel like we're soul sisters: we're both former attorneys turned stay-at-home moms, turned vegetarian/vegan, turned bloggers.  We both have 2 daughters and live in the great Pacific Northwest.  Seriously, she and I will have green smoothies one day, you just wait and see.  Oh, and she has really great recipes.  And fabulous stories that go along with each one.  She makes eating meat-free simple and fun.  Just my style.  

Check out Sarah's book or her blog, peasandthankyou.com for some fabulous recipes and a few laughs. I think you'll love her, too.  Gotta run, Cowgirl Cornbread just came out of the oven and Tempeh Chili is simmering on the stove.  Mmmmm...

Kim 

When Hope Happens

It happens.

Every now and then.

Somewhere between asleep and awake, when my body is completely still.  When my eyes softly open, gently blink, while every other part of me remains at rest.

It happens.

In that complete stillness, I feel no pain.  None.  Nothing throbs, no part of me aches.  There is nothing. I dare not move lest I cut this moment short.  I imagine what it would be like to hop out of bed, stretch my arms way up to the sky, take in a deep breath - all without pain, without a "warm up".

I think.

What if today is the day?  What if it was all a bad dream?  What if it's gone?  What if the miracle came in my sleep?  What if?

But then, I wiggle my toes.  Bend a knee.  Attempt to roll to one side.  And there it is: stiffness, pain, aching, reality.

I get out of bed.  Slowly, but I get out of bed.  Put one foot in front of the other.  Check on the girls. Walk down to the kitchen.  Take my medicine.  Open the curtains.  Let the light shine in.

Let the light shine in.  


I tell myself:  Today is the day.  It was not a bad dream.  The miracle is here.  I am walking, breathing, living.

This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.    

And I hope.  

Not just to be healed, but to be made whole.  Not just to feel no pain, but to feel - deeply, sincerely.  To love.  To give.  To use my life for good.  To tell my story.  To listen to others.  To hope.  

It happens.  

But you have to choose.

You have to hope.

With Love, 

Kim