Resilient

This is the first year we're doing a fall/winter garden.  I just love learning about what plants are able to withstand the cold, the lack of sunshine and the months of pouring rain.  My husband recently explained to me the concept of overwintering.  Basically some plants are able to wait out the winter season.  It's almost like they go into hibernation.  When the spring comes, many of these plants will begin to flower and flourish.

Imagine that.  These plants that are made to survive the harsh conditions of the season, thrive even in the dark - even in the cold where nothing grows.

Resilience.

Sometimes it appears as strength.

Other times, patience.

Love going out for some fresh kale for my morning green smoothie.

Broccoli is beautiful...

Still going strong.

The last of the fall colors popping through in the background.

Growth is always good.

Wishing you a season full of quiet strength, resilience and growth.

Kim 

A Table Full of Thanks

I don't know where the time goes.  Seriously?  It's been over a month since I last wrote here?

I think that's what happens this time of year.  Holiday events and excitement make the days and weeks fly by.  Speaking of holiday events, our family enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving with dear friends this year.  So much to be thankful for.  I just love sitting around the table enjoying a meal with people I love.  It might be one of my favorite things.  Maybe that's why I love to cook.  Thus, the stack of recipe books piled up next to my bed.  Many of you have asked what kinds of plant based foods I cook on special occasions.  Well, this year I didn't have to worry about the main course so I got to have fun with a few sides.

Here's a recipe I've been wanting to try for a while.  I'll be honest.  I've had brussels sprouts a few times in my life and never liked them.  Still, the recipe (and picture) in Power Foods looked so good, I just had to try it.  Even though brussels sprouts are a power food - high in fiber and loaded with Vitamins A and C - I still maintain that good food should taste good too.  Thankfully (and somewhat surprisingly), this one delivered on both fronts!

I took my Thanksgiving shopping list and headed off to Trader Joe's.  I stood and stared at this heap of brussels sprouts for a few minutes.  I had never seen them like this and wasn't quite sure how it all worked. Finally, I asked a nice little grandma who was meticulously searching for the perfect stalk.

Um, excuse me.  What exactly do you do with this? 

Oh honey, you just twist the suckers off!  

I had to laugh.

But that's exactly what I did - twisted the suckers off.

This is right before it went into the oven. I wish I got an "after" picture but I was too busy sampling.  It was delicious.  And this is coming from someone who has never smiled while eating a brussels sprout.  I thought it was fabulous.  The sweetness of the pears, the buttery sprouts, the caramelized shallots.  Yummmmy!  Click here for the recipe.  

In addition to the whole giving thanks part, the other thing I love about Thanksgiving is the abundance of... yup, you guessed it - cranberries.  Packed with phytochemicals and disease-fighting antioxidants, the benefits of these little berries go on and on. 

One day I'll figure out a healthier version of my favorite cranberry cornbread recipe, until then, it's all in moderation.  

I never knew the full goodness of fall vegetables until I moved to the Pacific Northwest.  Wherever you live, you'll still find some delicious squash and sweet potatoes in your local grocery store.  This recipe is so easy.  Just choose the veggies you like, toss with olive oil and rosemary and roast.  The key is rotating your pan and tossing the veggies about every 15 minutes.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.  While Thanksgiving may be over, the giving thanks continues.  

With love and gratitude, 

Kim 

Coexistence

Several weeks ago, I had some routine blood tests done.  I don't think much of it these days.  In fact, as I sat in the lab's waiting room, I thought about how nice it is to just go in for these tests without worrying about the results.  

Two days later, I got a voicemail.   My rheumatologist wanted me to call him back right away - on his cell phone.  

My heart sank.  I felt flush, that sensation where you don't know whether you are hot or cold.  

He told me he was concerned about some of the numbers.  

How can that be?

He was worried this was a "complication" from my medication.  

Trading one disease for another...

I had to wait a week to re-do the test, then another few days to get the results.  Oh, the waiting.   

But in that waiting - those minutes that make up hours, that make you crazy if you let it - something powerful happens.  A new sense of clarity and purpose, an urgency to live, a deep appreciation for every moment, total and complete mindfulness.

The phone rings.  I take a breath as I look down at the caller ID.   

No matter what, everything will be okay.

Your numbers are back up and looking normal.    

Exhale...

There's talk about medication, rethinking "treatment" and weighing risks and benefits.  We talk about some changes that need to be made and where to go from here.  He reminds me that AS is a progressive disease and that it's not going anywhere.  I remind him my goal is remission.

I spend the next day devouring dozens of books on health and healing (both the physical and spiritual kind).  I fill my head with those voices.

And it changes everything.

I don't write this simply to update you on what's going on with me.  I write this because sometimes wellness and illness aren't so black and white.

Sometimes there's a lot of gray.

Sometimes health and disease can co-exist.

It seems strange, I know, but in my case it's the truth.  Ironically, I am as healthy as I have ever been, more mindful than I have ever been.  But it has been a journey - a series of decisions, actions and changes, a resolve to keep moving forward because the alternative just isn't acceptable. While there may not be a cure - not today anyway - it doesn't mean I can't live my healthiest, best life. Somehow, if I focus on that - the rest may take care of itself.  I'm reminded that I've come a long way, that I've made more progress than I was supposed to.  And for that, I am so very thankful.

"Health is more than the absence of disease; 

it is a state in which the body, mind, and spirit thrive in balance." 

~ Institute of Complementary Medicine

Kim

Where are you heading?

Stop for a second.  

Think about your life at this moment.

I'm thinking about mine.  

We often ask ourselves, "Am I where I want to be?"  

While this is a valid question, I think the more important question is, "Am I heading in the right direction?"  

When I think about where I want to be one year from now... five years from now... ten years from now, am I positioned to end up there?  

This can apply to your work/career, health, relationships, personal growth, every aspect of your life.  I'm of the opinion that we don't accidentally stumble upon a lasting marriage, a fulfilling, successful career, a healthy body, or deep friendships.  

We invest in these things.  

Make decisions.  

Act. 

Daily.  

"If you do not change direction, 

you may end up where you are heading."  

~ Lao Tzu

The good news is that it's never too late to change direction.  What will I do today?  How about you?  

Take a risk?

Slow down?

Ask for forgiveness?

Eat your veggies? 

Get moving? 

Believe?

Whatever it is, know that it's bigger than today.  It will change your tomorrow.  

Kim 

Reflections from the Garden

It never fails. 

For the last year and a half, our garden has been my teacher.  On Labor Day, as I watched my husband and daughter plant our fall/winter garden, the lessons kept coming.  

There is a joy that comes over my daughter when she digs in the dirt - purposeful, yet curious. She loosens the soil, digs, makes a home for our food.  I watch her little fingers grasp her shovel, wonder what she's thinking, thankful that joy comes so simply.  

It's crazy how the most important job in the world is something we are never trained for.   And yet, every day we have a chance to guide, encourage, lead and nurture these little ones into the people they were created to be.  So very thankful.  

I love beginnings.  Birthdays, New Years, Weddings, Seasons.  I think it's the hope - the possibility - that gets to me.  And today, it doesn't matter how our spring garden did or what we got out of our summer harvest, we're starting over with new seeds, new possibilities.  I love that.  

And that's life.  

There is always a way to start over.  

To be refreshed.  

To grow and live and reach your potential.  

It really doesn't matter what happened yesterday, last year, or in your childhood.  What matters is what we choose to do today.  

And there's no better time to start than right now...

As she planted this one, she looked at it and said, "Grow big, little kale."

A sweet wish.

A simple blessing.

And there it is.

A new season.

A fresh beginning.

And while we look forward to the harvest to come, it's this moment that I'm soaking in.

This is enough.

With love, 

Kim 

36 while 36 - revisited

A friend emailed me the other day asking me how I'm doing on my list.  I had no idea what she was talking about.

Your list.  You know?  The one.  The list of things you were going to do this year.

Oops.

I forgot about the list.

And 37 is just a couple weeks away.

I'll admit, I had to laugh a little when I read it again.  Most of the things I did this year weren't even on the list.  Just never know where life is going to take you.   Let's revisit...

Paint something (I'm terrified of art and not very good at it - so I need to try:  a canvas, a table, a wall, something, anything.)  Hmmmm... does watercolor during arts and crafts count?  Yes.  I say it does.  I'm crossing this one off.  

Dust off my guitar and play again (it may only be for 10 minutes at a time but that's better than nothing).  Took it out a few times.  Not enough to build up any callouses though.  Thus, the dust collection.     

Go country line dancing.  That would have been fun.  

Write letters to old friends and mail it (like with a stamp).  Yes!  This, I did - and will continue to do.  

Play in a poker tournament.  Nope.  I even went to Las Vegas last month, but for very different reasons.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm down for some Texas hold'em any day.  

Plant a tree (or two).  I'm not 37 yet.  This will happen.  :)  

Write - my story.  Okay, well I guess I sort of am - maybe that's what this is all about.  

Eat at new restaurants.  Easy one.  

Drink hot chai tea in the snow.   Check!  

Pick apples.  Barrels and barrels of them.  

Write a song (and sing it).   Ha! 

Allow spontaneity.  Yes, and this came in the form of choosing fun over laundry, last minute road trips over summer house projects.  Lesson:  there are a lot of things in life that really can wait.  

Raise awareness for AS.   I guess in my own way I have.  This one will be a process.  

Laugh at myself.  :)  

Create irresistible vegetarian meals.  It may depend on who you ask.  

Refurbish some furniture.  I'm over it.  

Write - something to be published.   To be determined...  

Wear more colors.  Sure did.  

Sing (either in a microphone or in the shower - just sing) Nothing beats singing with my girls.  Nothing.  

Become a better gardener.  Let's face it, my husband grows the food.  I pick them and eat them.  It's a good arrangement.  

Pray without ceasing (and believe without ceasing).  Still believing...

Listen to live jazz as often as possible.  Not even once. Just a lot of Coltrane on Pandora.  

Stomp on grapes at a vineyard.  Yes!  It's on the calendar for later this month.  Can't wait.  

Write - a song.  Oh my, apparently I was really into writing last year.  Sorry, no songs here. 

Make jam (or jelly - I don't really know the difference).  I'm not doing so hot on this list.  

Learn how to knit (or crochet - whichever is easier on my hands)  No, my but 4-year-old daughter did.  Does that count?  

Embrace the rain - walk in it, play in it, splash in it, LIVE in it.  YES! 

Make pumpkin pie out of the pumpkins in our garden.  Not exactly. I used the pumpkin in my smoothies instead.  Delish!  

Dance in a flash mob (seriously, if anybody knows how I can go about doing this, please let me know.  this is a non-negotiable, must-do!!).   I'm still looking for one!  One of these days...

Read poems to my children.  Love.  

Stay in a cabin in the snow - embrace winter!  Giving myself 1/2 point for this one.  

Be kind to myself - set lofty goals, but allow myself time to get there.  Who would have thought that this vague point would end up taking up most of my year.  

Take water aerobics.  Taking my 2 kids to the pool should count for this one.  I'm crossing it off.  

Go snow sledding!  YES!  

Walk in a "Race for the Cure"   I was out of town.  Next year...

Choose joy - because each day is a gift and I won't take a single one for granted.  YES! YES! and YES!  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A year ago when I wrote that list I had no idea what 36 would hold.  I never would have thought it would look a little more like this:

- Start a health and wellness business.  

- Decrease medication by 75%!!  

- Travel to other states helping others build their own businesses and have so much FUN doing it.  

- Take the girls to Disneyland.
- Spend one month in Hawaii.
- Become stronger, healthier and more determined than ever.

I'll have to spend some time in the next couple of weeks thinking about where I want to be when thirty-eight  rolls around. Be careful what you hope for, having a vision is a powerful thing.

To living life,
Kim 

A Tale of Two Structures

For the last several months my daughter has been fascinated by the house being built down the street.  She always make me slow down as we drive by so she can check on the progress. Yesterday, as we drove by once again, we had a conversation that really struck me.

Mom, the house is happening so fast now.  They took forever and ever doing the floor.  Now the bedrooms are so quick.  It's finally starting to look like a real house.

Forever and ever doing the floor.   

I explained to her how important that "floor" really is, how the builders need to spend a lot of time making sure there is a strong, solid foundation.

She nodded her head, gazed out the window, quiet.

Then came the next question.

What happens if they don't make a strong floor?

I thought for a second, not wanting to give her nightmares of collapsing buildings.

Well, honey, if the floor isn't strong, the rest of the house won't be strong either.  It wouldn't be safe to live in.  

She nods again.

I'm sure glad we have strong floors, mama.  

Me too, baby, me too.  

Her attention turns to her sister as they start to sing Old MacDonald.

I, on the other hand, keep thinking about "floors".

Just last week, I heard about a half-billion dollar hotel in Las Vegas that was built but never opened because of serious construction defects.  Inspectors noted that the building would likely collapse in a major earthquake.  After millions of dollars and months of litigation, a Nevada state judge recently gave the go-ahead to implode the building.

What happens if they don't make a strong floor?

Shiny and beautiful on the outside, the entire project will soon turn to dust.

But isn't it the truth?  When it's all said and done, no matter how things look on the outside, your foundation is what keeps you standing.  I'm thankful my four-year-old reminded me where I need to spend my time.  When my floor - my family, my faith and my health - is taken care of, everything else works out.  I'm strong and can take on everything else.

And unlike the Las Vegas hotel that awaits its fate, you and I can always go back and strengthen our foundation.  Why wait for a collapse or implosion?  We can do something today to make sure we have a strong tomorrow.  Whether it's spending quality time with your family or making changes to your diet and lifestyle, check your floor and see how it passes inspection.  The rest of your house will thank you.

With love,
Kim

Five Minute Friday - STRETCH

It has been far too long.  But this morning, I'm joining Lisa-Jo for Five Minute Friday.  This is when we stop, drop and write.  No editing or over thinking, just five sweet minutes to write for the love of writing.  Today she asks us to give our best five minutes on:    

S  T  R  E  T  C  H

Ready?

GO!  

It's funny how a simple word can take on such new meaning at different points of our life.  This word brings up all sorts of emotions for me. This time last year, being able to stretch was a daily goal.  Between regular physical therapy sessions, yoga for arthritis classes and daily exercise, I worked hard at maintaining my ability to stretch.  It wasn't that long ago when simply bending down to touch my toes got a standing ovation from my rheumatologist.  Every morning, alone in the bathroom, I made it a point to reach for the ceiling - as high as I could, pulling, stretching, straightening out my spine.  It hurt.  Hard to breathe.  So much work.  Just to stretch.  

But what was the alternative?  

Weakness.  Pain.  Inability.  

Today, while I still stretch to maintain strength, flexibility and range of motion, life is stretching. 

The goal is no longer just stretching my limbs, but stretching my vision - leadership, passion, faith. Stretching, reaching - out of my comfort zone and into places I never imagined - because there is no alternative.  

STOP.  

Hugs and Health, 

Kim

Strong Enough

They say summer doesn't start around here until after the 4th of July.  Sure enough, after months of rain, yesterday was amazing.  The sun made it's entrance and the day was perfect. We powered it out for 12 straight hours of 4th of July fun!

So this morning, on this unofficial 2nd day of summer, I did something I've been wanting to do for weeks - months, even.  Nope, I didn't throw my suit on, pour myself some lemonade and blow up the swimming pool.  I did something even better.

I mowed the lawn.

Yup, you heard me right.  I mowed my lawn - front and back, up and down.


And I loved every second of it.  


You see, last 4th of July, I stayed home with my baby while daddy and big sister went to watch the fire works. I was in the middle of a flare up and all the physical therapy, shots and steroids wasn't going to let this mama enjoy the show. I remember going to bed early last year wondering how many special events I'd miss. I remember thinking, "Next 4th of July, I am going to be there. No matter what. I'm going to celebrate."  


And that I did.  All day and night, with amazing friends.  


So this morning as I drank my green smoothie and stared out the kitchen window, I knew exactly how I wanted to start the day.  


When my oldest daughter saw me rolling out the lawn mower, she said, "Uh, mommy, you better leave that for daddy.  He's the one with the stronger back."  


"Don't worry sweetie.  Mommy is stronger than you think."  


Stronger than I think...


And with that, I was off.  The girls laughed and cheered.  I smiled - thankful.  

Two hours later, sweaty and dirty, I couldn't help but step back and marvel at it all - marvel at strength.



Pushing forward, 
Kim

What a Difference...

This time last year I was wrapping my head around a diagnosis I had never heard of.  It was June 1, 2011, when a rheumatologist told me I had ankylosing spondylitis.  He said there was no cure, but that they could treat me with a new biological medication that would slow the disease down.  Unfortunately the medication would kill my immune system and put me at higher risk for other diseases.  Talk about a rock and a hard place. This time last year I could barely lift my baby or get a bowl off the top shelf without some sort of steroid. The future seemed so uncertain.

And yet - the future comes.  Time never stands still, it passes - one way or the other.

Amazing what can happen in one year.  This June 1st, 2012, I was on an airplane heading to Los Angeles  - on my way to grow my business, share health and hope, and celebrate possibilities.  I should mention that I have been able to decrease my medication (with the goal of completely eliminating it) and have boosted my immune system and overall health naturally.

Healthy.

Happy.

Strong.

Determined.

Thankful.

It was no accident.  It was a year of choices, from what I put in my mouth to what I allowed in my heart.  It was a year of saying "we'll get through this" even when it didn't feel like it.  A year of holding tight to all that mattered and letting go of everything that didn't.  And today, the choices continue.

Where do you want to be one year from now?  Five years from now?  Are you making decisions to get there or are you just hoping things will change on their own?  I'd like to encourage you and say that even as the years pass - our health can get better, our marriages - stronger, our dreams - brighter.  Life, with all its ups and downs, is such an amazing gift.  Decide where you want to go then take a step in that direction.  You won't regret it.

Kim